B156. Staying at Home: And That's an Order

I've been practicing this for 16 days now, so if you're thinking we just can't do this, I wrote this for you.

This afternoon North Carolina's governor joined other states in mandating a statewide stay at home order to go into effect Monday at 5:00 PM. Hopefully none of us will wait for that time.

Here are the basic rules:
No gatherings of more than 10 people. (8 or 5 or 2 or 1 would be even better.)
Keep a "social distance" of at least 6 feet at all times. (20 or 50 would be even better.)
We can still go outside. We can still buy groceries and meds. We can still help family.

We are all affected by this and all the previous mandates leading up to this one. Many are stressed financially, uncertain where this might leave them and their families. Many are out of work. Children are out of school. Those losing loved ones are having to postpone funeral services or have only small graveside gatherings.

Others are sick and afraid to tell us, because we have come to fear this virus as the Bubonic Plague of the Medieval Period or as the leprosy of  Bible times. It is neither. Still many are becoming seriously ill, and many who are older or who have other respiratory or autoimmune conditions are dying. Most get sick and get well, like the flu.

I am very fortunate so far. This is affecting me mostly as an inconvenience. I had to clear my calendar of friend visits, a family birthday celebration, various church events, etc. I continue to make adjustments to how to navigate this new and daily changing normal.

By the time this stay at home mandate comes into effect, I will be 19 days into practicing it, so here are some things I've begun to learn:

1. The gym. I miss it, but it's springtime, so it's perfect for walking, running or biking. I've been walking daily, usually in my neighborhood but once or twice a week in the park, which is not off limits as long as we keep that social distance. I've also enjoyed choosing random exercise videos on YouTube and stretching or jumping around in my living room with the online instructor. Maybe your regular exercise instructor has an online option through this time.

2. Food. Restaurants have been closed to inside dining, but many are still offering take-out or curb service. Grocery stores will remain open and are definitely thriving through this pandemic, with a challenge of keeping their shelves stocked fast enough. I have limited my grocery shopping to twice a month and am using Food Lion To Go, via InstaCart. Other grocery chains use this or a similar service. It's a fun way to shop. You place an order on-line, then drive there and pop open the trunk for someone to load it all into the car. You've already paid online, so there's no social interaction, and you don't even need to get out of the car. One warning: prepare yourself for unavailable items. If the store doesn't have it in stock (and that includes a lot right now), they can't give it to you.

3. Church. Again, I've been fortunate. My church was ahead of the curve on all of this. We cancelled services before it was mandated, and then all face-to-face meetings. Our ministers videotape the worship service every Sunday, and those of us on various committees and meeting groups have learned to meet via Zoom. I miss the face-to-face interaction, but I'm glad we are able to stay connected online and that we are caring for each other's safety. I'm learing to enjoy "going to church" in my sweatpants, and this past Sunday I "attended" four different churches.

4. Family and Friends. This one has been the most difficult for me; worrying about loved ones who are "high risk," especially those who are not taking the mandates or the virus seriously, and those who understand with their heads why I'm keeping a distance, but not with their hearts. Again, technology offers some solace. Phone calls are helpful, Facetime is the next best thing to being there, and, I haven't tried this yet with family and friends, but for larger groups, Zoom would work great socially.

And all of us have loved ones who might need some extra help during this time. Definitely call regularly to check on them. Then help connect them to services of the church or community. So many services are popping up to help with grocery shopping and other tasks, especially for those in the high risk categories: those over 65 or those with respiratory or autoimmune diseases. Those of us with helping hearts might struggle at not volunteering to do all the helping ourselves, but if we are high risk, we are not just putting ourselves in danger but also the ones we're helping, and their families, and our families, and everyone else with whom we (and they) continue to interact. What we can give though, in addition to connecting them to help, is love, through calls, notes, or whatever other safe means we have.

5. Alone time. Normally I'm great with alone time. Admittedly I've been less so these past 16 days. I've kept too close a watch on the news, wondering and worrying how this might all play out. I've stayed unsettled, but my immediate goal is to settle in and focus on other things as much as possible. I read books, journal, work on projects . . . watch movies, work puzzles, play Words With Friends online . . . I email, call, and Facetime with friends . . . I walk in the park and take photos . . .

For those of us fortuante enough to have online access (and I'm guessing you do, because here you are), I've been extremely impressed with the variety of entertainers and entertainment venues that, having had to close their doors to the public, are now offering concerts, plays, etc. on-line, for free, or as a means of keeping some income coming. There are free ebooks, free movies, and/or curbside services for books and videos at the public library.

Think of all the things you've said you'd love to do if you only had the time . . . We have the time now.

6. Health, Some of you are going about your lives as usual. Some of us are heeding every precaution even to how we handle groceries or mail being brought into our houses. Most are somewhere between these extremes. We cannot know who of us will become sick, or which of us will recover most easily. What we know we don't want to happen though is watching loved ones die because the hospitals were too full to take them in, or because all the ventilators were already in use. "Flattening the curve" means keeping everyone from getting sick at the same time, so there will be space and resources for all who need them. What we also know is that the confirmed cases are multiplying quickly now, and that we are likely heading for the worst.

Do you care about yourself? Do you care about anyone? Me too, so let's stay at home. Even if there are other good things we want to be doing, and even if we don't think any of these precautions are necessary. For us, for someone else, for everyone else. We can do this.