"My mama said only 10 people are allowed to gather inside now, or 30 for a funeral, so she invited the whole family to a funeral for a turkey on Thanksgiving Day." This was the most interesting plan I heard this week, duirng a local Zoom meeting.
Everyone is talking about Thanksgiving plans. Some are planning to completely ignore the pandemic. Others plan not to gather this year. My family plans to have an outdoor visit with masks and distancing and no food. Others are creatively coming up with their own ideas. In many families there is disagreement, hurt feelings, sadness, or even anger.
For those who could use some fresh ideas for making this year's Thanksgiving a little brighter for you or someone else, I offer the following:
1. Write out your heartfelt and personal gratitude to one or more family members or friends. Maybe especially to those family members who are hurting, or to older friends who will spend the day alone, or to someone who has made your life better in some small or large way this year. A personal handwritten card or letter with specific reasons you are genuinely thankful they are in your life. Maybe write 5, maybe 20.
2. Call or FaceTime with individual family members and other friends who will likely be alone that day.
3. If you especially enjoy cooking, consider cooking anyway, for yourself (or for you and others in your household). Then enjoy sitting down to a delicious meal and packing away leftovers for the rest of the week.
4. Plan a Zoom gathering for the whole family. Maybe even cook lunch where you are, and eat it in each other's presence.
5. If your family is not gathering, and you see another family all around the table together on Facebook, avoid judgment. There are difficult decisions. Maybe an older family member with little time left to live. Maybe religious teachings that are different from yours. Maybe a divided family that is hurting far more than the photos show. If it's painful to see other families together, consider breaking a couple of days from social media (and maybe starting back with #1).
6. If Thanksgiving holds spiritual significance to you, set aside a special time of prayer/meditation in which you say out loud (or write) all the specific things for which you are thankful this year, even amidst all the disappointments and pain. (This might also lead you back to #1.)
2020 has been a challenging year, and the holiday season will likely be more so. Still there is reason for gratitude to others. There is meaning to bowing our heads in thanks to God. And there is hope that next year's gatherings will arrive enveloped in more love and appreciation that ever before, because of the sadness we separately share today.
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